It's now been exactly a week since I began yoga!!! I am on a two week trial for unlimited classes for $35 at this fancy yoga studio. When I planned to take this trial one of my friends said that I could probably find cheaper at a community center, because, she said "let's face it; how many times will you actually go in this 2 week period?". I said to her "fourteen times!" and reminded her that if this surprises her she clearly does not know me; I am known to go to greater lengths for less amounts of money.
Anyway, so thus I have become what I vehemently made fun of: lululemon pants wearing, yoga mat carrying yuppie hippie. I am yet to go grocery shopping in my lulu's or walk around town with my yoga mat (they provide mats for free during the trial), but these days might numbered.
About 5-10ish years ago one of my friends suggested I take up meditation (probably because he thought I was going through some hard periods in life) and I remember saying that I really wasn't a meditative type and politely declining. Once when he was visiting me, I walked in to him sitting cross legged on my living room floor, meditating - I barely covered my laughter, but this incident made for many jokes with my other friends later on. Couple other friends have encouraged me to take yoga, more as a way to calm my mind (why people think I need mind-calming, I wouldn't know, but this they do) and I have time and again declined, sometimes not so politely even. The only reason I would have taken up yoga was for the physical exercise, and yoga seemed like a lame way to get in shape; my Mom had brought a yoga book and I remember trying out those poses back when I was a kid and finding them beneath my level.
Now I don't know if I just didn't do those poses quite right back then or if I was a more flexible person back then, but man is yoga hard or what! I usually come out of the class sweating like a pig (I know they don't sweat much, but you get the idea)... And I went in there thinking 'pfffttt how can these yoga hippies have more strength than I do' and man was I wrong. I wasn't able to hold quite a few of the poses, sometimes at all, sometimes not as long.
Some teachers like to talk and chant in Sanskrit and all that stuff and I am sitting there thinking, 'ok ok, cut the fluff and let's get burning'. This one teacher who spoke for about 10 minutes about 'santhosha' was really making me think that's the last time I am taking her class - but as it so happened she turned out to be the best teacher in the studio, making us bust move after move, but also paying attention to our forms - oh-ho I even got my neck massaged a bit when I was in downward dog! And one thing that she said stuck with me: as she talked about contentment she said 'acceptance is letting go of a past that you wish was different' and I thought back about my own life and the times I had felt content was when I did exactly that. Some things that happened in the past are not ok things to have happened. If they happened again now they still would not be acceptable. But at some point you have to let it go and look more towards the forward...
I haven't worked out for about 3 months at all now - not even running. So it feels good to be stretching and burning those muscles. Somehow it is also giving me more clarity of mind; strength training does this for me - it is probably the endorphins.
Today I got myself a yoga mat so I can practice at home - it wasn't as bad as last week when I bought my lululemon pants and was walking around town with one of their bags, when more conscious minded citizens were doing the Occupy Vancouver!
Now I do the Om with the class without cracking a giggle. It almost soothes me to listen to some teachers chant in Sanskrit. I love the Hindi classical music the teachers play over their ipods. I love the focus on the breath. All these, I would have laughed at 10 years ago - so feel free to laugh as you read this. There is a time for everything in life - right now in my life, it looks like it is a good time for yoga!
One big thing in yoga is to let yourself be content, not to push yourself to your limits: 'you are whole, you are missing nothing' one of my teachers always says. I understand it is nice to have a bit of this sort of thinking, but whenever she says that I can not help but think that the human species would be no where near where it is now if we all thought this way! My philosophy is more in line with:
Yeah, if we were all just satisfied with what we had what a beautiful world it would be. We'd all slowly starve to death in our own filth, but at least we'd be happy. Listen. I need your self-worth to hand on this job. For kicking ass here to be all that lets you rise above miserable If waking up in the morning is enough, I don't need you.
Greg House, in House MD
I am still a sucker for hippies - I still like the calm flowiness of the Owen-Wilson-in-Darjeeling-Express look alike (more in mannerisms than in the bandages) teacher who has the word 'vegan' tattooed in to his wrists; I will still give a lot to watch his sandy hair fall over his face as he rocks back and forth in the turtle pose! And I still laugh when I have to 'fluff my armpits so I can let go off the day's stress'.
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