Autumn, as they call it...

Autumn - that is what the "British" Columbians call it - is here... If it were up to me, I would leave all those fallen leaves on the streets; they look quite pretty. Here in the west coast, we don't do the spectacular Fall colors, but Vancouver has introduced all these deciduous trees, so we have some colors in our city-streets (it follows then, if you go in to nature for hiking/camping etc) you won't see these colors. I am not a big fan of plant life being introduced: I am more with the movement that say grow only the native plants, get rid of your lawns (lawn grass is not native to North America) and help prevent soil erosion and excessive chemical usage etc.

But as you can see, it is not up to me... blow blow blow (the leaves, get you heads out of the gutter) and then wash wash wash (the sap...). On my way to the library, on a glorious Autumn Sunday afternoon.

yoga O.O

It's now been exactly a week since I began yoga!!! I am on a two week trial for unlimited classes for $35 at this fancy yoga studio. When I planned to take this trial one of my friends said that I could probably find cheaper at a community center, because, she said "let's face it; how many times will you actually go in this 2 week period?". I said to her "fourteen times!" and reminded her that if this surprises her she clearly does not know me; I am known to go to greater lengths for less amounts of money.

Anyway, so thus I have become what I vehemently made fun of: lululemon pants wearing, yoga mat carrying yuppie hippie. I am yet to go grocery shopping in my lulu's or walk around town with my yoga mat (they provide mats for free during the trial), but these days might numbered.

About 5-10ish years ago one of my friends suggested I take up meditation (probably because he thought I was going through some hard periods in life) and I remember saying that I really wasn't a meditative type and politely declining. Once when he was visiting me, I walked in to him sitting cross legged on my living room floor, meditating - I barely covered my laughter, but this incident made for many jokes with my other friends later on. Couple other friends have encouraged me to take yoga, more as a way to calm my mind (why people think I need mind-calming, I wouldn't know, but this they do) and I have time and again declined, sometimes not so politely even. The only reason I would have taken up yoga was for the physical exercise, and yoga seemed like a lame way to get in shape; my Mom had brought a yoga book and I remember trying out those poses back when I was a kid and finding them beneath my level.

Now I don't know if I just didn't do those poses quite right back then or if I was a more flexible person back then, but man is yoga hard or what! I usually come out of the class sweating like a pig (I know they don't sweat much, but you get the idea)... And I went in there thinking 'pfffttt how can these yoga hippies have more strength than I do' and man was I wrong. I wasn't able to hold quite a few of the poses, sometimes at all, sometimes not as long.

Some teachers like to talk and chant in Sanskrit and all that stuff and I am sitting there thinking, 'ok ok, cut the fluff and let's get burning'. This one teacher who spoke for about 10 minutes about 'santhosha' was really making me think that's the last time I am taking her class - but as it so happened she turned out to be the best teacher in the studio, making us bust move after move, but also paying attention to our forms - oh-ho I even got my neck massaged a bit when I was in downward dog! And one thing that she said stuck with me: as she talked about contentment she said 'acceptance is letting go of a past that you wish was different' and I thought back about my own life and the times I had felt content was when I did exactly that. Some things that happened in the past are not ok things to have happened. If they happened again now they still would not be acceptable. But at some point you have to let it go and look more towards the forward...

I haven't worked out for about 3 months at all now - not even running. So it feels good to be stretching and burning those muscles. Somehow it is also giving me more clarity of mind; strength training does this for me - it is probably the endorphins.

Today I got myself a yoga mat so I can practice at home - it wasn't as bad as last week when I bought my lululemon pants and was walking around town with one of their bags, when more conscious minded citizens were doing the Occupy Vancouver!

Now I do the Om with the class without cracking a giggle. It almost soothes me to listen to some teachers chant in Sanskrit. I love the Hindi classical music the teachers play over their ipods. I love the focus on the breath. All these, I would have laughed at 10 years ago - so feel free to laugh as you read this. There is a time for everything in life - right now in my life, it looks like it is a good time for yoga!

One big thing in yoga is to let yourself be content, not to push yourself to your limits: 'you are whole, you are missing nothing' one of my teachers always says. I understand it is nice to have a bit of this sort of thinking, but whenever she says that I can not help but think that the human species would be no where near where it is now if we all thought this way! My philosophy is more in line with:

Yeah, if we were all just satisfied with what we had what a beautiful world it would be. We'd all slowly starve to death in our own filth, but at least we'd be happy. Listen. I need your self-worth to hand on this job. For kicking ass here to be all that lets you rise above miserable If waking up in the morning is enough, I don't need you.

Greg House, in House MD

I am still a sucker for hippies - I still like the calm flowiness of the Owen-Wilson-in-Darjeeling-Express look alike (more in mannerisms than in the bandages) teacher who has the word 'vegan' tattooed in to his wrists; I will still give a lot to watch his sandy hair fall over his face as he rocks back and forth in the turtle pose! And I still laugh when I have to 'fluff my armpits so I can let go off the day's stress'.

Psychiatry

"P$YCHIATRY is a Fraud" says her sweater... Oh please, ignorant hippy... Do you get out of your incense-stick-smoke infested voodoo world and read books that talk about chemical imbalances in the human body?? Not to say a lot of psychiatrists might not be qualified/patient enough to prescribe proper treatment for such problems, but to sport a sweater that discourages psychiatric help and treatment, is not only ignorant, but also dangerous... We have come a long way from the times of the likes of 'One flew over the cuckoo's nest' of psychological problems only being in the head of the beholder, and I for one would like to keep moving forward, and not backward!

This reminds me of my first roommate in Vancouver; yep, the voodoo one. He actually once suggested that I should actually not wear glasses, that 'near-sightedness' is only in my head and optometrists are running this scam to make a living!!!!

Occupy Vancouver

maybe a lot of people with a sense of entitlement... but I like this idea of people mobilizing to keep the powers be in check...

Steve Jobs

this is the Apple store at the Pacific Center - Vancouverites - never too happy, never too sad, always business as usual and always, of course, driving me nuts (for this emotionlessness), but this time I welcomed the taking-a-step-back-from-profound-sadness.

Don't get me wrong - Steve Jobs is a personality that I admire a lot. There is something in me that really likes self-made people, maybe because I am one myself. And, while I don't want to join any cult, even an Apple cult, I am also in general against the new-age hippy mentality of 'I want blood - of all successful people', that most of the time is connected to an illogical sense of entitlement...

There were a few of Jobs's saying that were made in to touching eulogies, but none that really stood out for me... except for maybe iSad.

RIP Steve Jobs (February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011) what a birthday eve present - iSad that the world lost such an innovative personality. But if there's one way I would like to go, it is this way, while I am still at the helm of my life.

Don't let 'em keep taking it away from me. Don't let me lie here 'till I can't hear those people chanting (my name) no more.
- Maggie Fitzgerald, in Million Dollar Baby